what is your life worth? elemi fuentes

What is your life worth?


My favorite writer is José Saramago (1922-2010). He wrote many brilliant novels and I read most of them. In Ensayo sobre la Cegurea’ (Blindness), he wrote the following quote:

Quien va a morir está ya muerto y no lo sabe. Que hemos de morir es algo que sabemos desde que nacemos, Por eso, en cierto modo, es como si ya hubiéramos nacido muertos.

Paraphrasing a little bit, it translates roughly for:

(He) Who is going to die is already dead and does not know it. That we have to die is something that we know since we are born, that is why, in a certain way, it is as if we had already been born dead.

Ever since I read that particular novel, that quote has always stuck with me throughout the years. But most especially, whenever I received any kind of threats. I did receive some when I was working on the McAuliffe files. I guess because whoever was sending them, knows that eventually, I’ll link Mr. McAuliffe to some human trafficking networks occurring via Virginia ports. I received threats when I was working on debunking Qanon (as of now, still unfinished). I have received many threats throughout my life. Some were physical threats, some were blackmail and extortion, and some were, simply put death threats. Though the vast majority, I admit, were mostly verbal.

Threats don’t bother me because threats are only effective if we let them to cause us fear. And ‘fear is the mind killer‘. It isn’t death that we fear, it is the unknown. Though obviously, religion has done a magnificent job of indoctrinating the masses for over two millennia, so that we fear the ‘wrath of God’ for being the imperfect beings he created us to be. Death is but the next journey.

I don’t fear God because I don’t believe in God. At least not the religious version of a misogynistic man with a Napoleon Complex. I believe in energy. You can’t destroy energy. Just change it from one state to another. Perhaps we are by-products of the second law of thermodynamics, and perhaps our consciousness is nothing but a chaos of synapses firing against each other until self-awareness arises. Perhaps, or perhaps not.

A somewhat romanticized version of my death (or any death), is a stone-cold body withering away under the influence of time. Every organ will give way and stop working. Every cell that composes the tissues will stop performing its functions. The energy they had will simply dissipate into the invisible web around us. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. My body will decay and will become part of the lower food chain of the ecosystem. Bacteria, fungi, and maggots would devour the leftovers. They, in turn, will feed a larger part of their habitat. Plants and trees will then flourish because of my death. And hence, in a way, our essence always lives on. Whether consciousness exists or not beyond death is something I can only speculate about, but I guess I won’t find out until I get there.

I grew up in a loveless and somewhat dysfunctional home, and as such, I spent many of many teenage years and early twenties debating the meaning of life and death. Reading plenty of Greek philosophers, Epicuro de Samos (Epicurus) being one of my favorites, and many more modern ones such as Nietzsche or Kant. I imbued myself in many occult works such as those of Madam Blavatsky and John Dee, Anton Lavey and Cornellius Agrippa. I read works such as The Kabbalah, The Kabylion, The Necronomicon, the Epic of Gilgamesh and everything in between trying to find meaning to life. But the occult works didn’t give any more answers as to what the point of living was, any more than the not-so-occult books had. Deep down, they all posed the same questions and they all tried to find the answer to life, the universe and everything else‘.

When none of it yield answers I turned my attention to Babylon, Egypt, and the Ancient Astronaut Alien theory. My earlier contact with it all was through the works of Eric von Daniken. Some of the theories fascinated me back then and some still do today, especially when it comes to ancient archaeology or lost civilizations and their rise and fall (i.e Mohenjo Daro, Puma Punku, Göbekli Tepe, etc).

By mid-twenties I had hundreds of hypothesis on the origin of the universe and the origin of life itself. From a single creator to several, to the Big Bang, Inflation, Pocket Universes and other myriads of Multiverse theories. I had pinned down evolution or lack of depending on the school of thought. And yet, none of the explanations satisfied my original questions: what is the meaning of life? Is there a purpose for life itself?

I then turned my research into psychology, the study of the human mind and human behavior. I found Freud’s reductionism of human behavior to mommy and daddy issues very appealing. In fact, I often amuse myself using this simplistic approach to conduct sociological thought-experiments where I strip groups of their environmental and societal conditioning and/or bias and then concentrate on the innate group behavior (instinct) and its evolution. This is a lot simpler than what the fancy terminology indicates. (I will link here one or several examples as soon as I get around to publish them.)

I also found C. Jung’s explanation of the human mind a truly fascinating concept. It is not surprising that Jung would become Agent 488 at the Office of Strategic Services (precursor of the C.I.A).

Back then I did a fair deal of auto-analysis and soul searching in the hopes that I will find the ‘secret answer’ to life. As it turns out, there isn’t one. Or perhaps that are a hundred answers but they are all subjective and vary from individual to individual. My secret to life is simply happiness. Happiness, they say, comes and a goes; and life is worth living in between the misery of everyday calamities in pro of those precious moments of happiness. I disagree with that perspective. That is pure religious indoctrination that says we are meant to suffer here so we can be rewarded in ‘heaven’; which greatly contradicts Luke 17:21 ‘the kingdom of God is within you.’ Happiness, in my opinion, comes from contentment and getting rid of envy and desire. First, one must accept its place in the world, in the universe and be content with it. By this, I do not mean inaction. If one is unhappy, then changes must be made. Sometimes geographical changes are needed. As Machado used to say”caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar.” (“Pilgrim, there is no path, the path is made by walking”).

There might or might not be a meaning to life, to our very existence. But we get to live every day and only get to die once. Sooner or later, we all die. And since we all die I am of the opinion that I rather die for something I believe in, rather than die in somebody else’s war for the pursuit of G.O.D. (gold, oil, and drugs).

The real reason for war -gold, oil, drugs
The real reason for wars

For instance, the vast majority of Americans are obsessed with the military and consider their soldiers to be war heroes. A hero is somebody that defends your homeland against a foreign invasion. A hero is somebody that defends you from a tyrannical government whose many abuses against its own land and its own people only serve to further the interest of corporate oligarchies. A person that travels thousands of kilometers to a remote village in order to plunder, rape and murder innocent civilians that never did any harm to your country is not a hero in my eyes, is a mercenary. In fact, the U.S army is literally a for-hire group of highly skilled mercenaries. There is no bravery in that.

There is no bravery in pointing a gun to an unarmed man for wanting to defend his own home, his own family, his own land. There is no honor in fighting a banker’s war. There is no honor in tearing down a country to steal their gold, their oil or their drugs while claiming to fight terrorism. That same terrorism which is very much financed by the parties with war interests. More often than not, the finance will flow to both sides because, a perpetual state of war is very beneficial; not just in terms of plundering, but in the sales of weapons. Much like they have done to Syria and Libya and Somalia and countless other countries.

allocation of us taxes 2012
Source: Anup Shah, World Military Spending, Global Issues, Updated: June 30, 2013

Wars wouldn’t exist if individuals stood up for what is right and refused to take arms against one another. Imagine, if you would, a world without wars. Imagine, if you like, how much better off would everyone be if the money used for murder was used instead for the good of the people. There wouldn’t be a single homeless person left on the streets. There wouldn’t be hunger. There wouldn’t be greed. Imagine…

There is only bravery in standing for what is right. In fighting for the truth, in fighting for justice.

Many people have died for justice. Many people have died trying to expose the truth. Journalists, hackers, political activists, human right activists, doctors, revolutionaries, and many others have died because of the truth. Died, been killed, or being ‘suicided’. These people were and are true heroes. Their lives and sacrifices should be something we all look up to and try to emulate. There are only so many of them and too many of us. Revolution is in the air.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy was a good man. He wasn’t perfect. He made mistakes like many others. But he was a great man because he stood up for what he believed was right. He stood up for his country and for his people. He stood up for the truth and paid the price with his life. That is what made him a great man. A hero. A man that will live on forever in the memory of the people because he stood for the truth. And he died for it. Killed by the same agency he “wanted to splinter in a thousand pieces and scatter it to the winds.” Same agency, same powerful families, some corporate interests. They are all one and the same.

Obama and Trump could have been great men too. But they are cowards. They choose to side instead with the very same evil agency that enslaves and subjugate its own people for the benefit of the few. They are not patriots. They are part of the same elite club of powerful families that rules over the US and over every other nation. People look up to politicians, celebrities, and footballers like they are some sort of demi-gods that need our worship. They look at their misdeeds and it’s all ‘forgive and forget‘ because the rule of law is not meant to apply to them. The law is meant to keep the masses in check. The courts, the police, the military, and the countless other organizations with power aren’t working for the people. They don’t work for the little guy. They work to protect the interests of the same few.

Any of them could go off script at any moment at any rally, speech, conference or any other public appearance and tell the truth about the government, the control and the reality of the nation. As Putin so wisely puts it, U.S presidents have no real power. Men with dark suits rule the country from the shadows.

Politicians are not above the law, nor are they better than any other man. They are public servants. They should serve the country, nor their own interests or the interests of corporations. The veneration, reverence and deference people offer to them is beyond my comprehension. Any man, woman, and child are worthy of respect. Any person should be treated with kindness and civility. But beyond that, I see no reason to worship a politician that is not doing anything significant from its predecessors, nor is he is bettering the country in any way: just more lies and more wars; just like everybody else. And even if he or she were bringing about positive changes, well, isn’t that their job? Isn’t that why they were elected for in the first place? Elections, of course, are always rigged no matter which party ends up in power. The two-party system in the US is nothing but a big joke. They are all friends. They all donate to each other across parties. They all have the same interests at heart and; most, unfortunately, those interests go hand in hand with corporations and their own wealth.


It doesn’t take much to be a hero. It doesn’t take much to be a great man. It takes courage and bravery. Trump doesn’t have it and Obama didn’t have it and many others in and around the echelons of power don’t have it. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are bad or evil men. Some are and some aren’t. It purely means that they either don’t care for the well-being of their own people or, even if they do, they are too afraid to act. Afraid to go off script. ‘Fear is the mind killer‘. Fear is a powerful paralyzer that makes many a great men and woman succumb to inaction because they over-think too much the consequences of their actions. But, what is there to fear? Ridicule, torture, death?

The ridicule factor is a very powerful weapon that has been successfully used on many occasions by a variety three-letter-agencies with the help of Mockingbird media, in order to discredit those who have shared truths and facts with the world. But, why should it matter to us what others think? What should it matter what strangers think of us? They don’t know us, they don’t care for us. They are a sheep unable of original thought, who simply wait patiently for the propaganda machine to tell them how to feel about something or somebody, and what to be enraged about. Ridicule doesn’t matter. Mockery doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are able to walk with your head held high and your conscience clean because you have done all in your power to bring about change and to bring about the truth.

Torture, on the other hand, is a much more powerful motivator than ridicule or even death. There are two things to be said for torture. It matters not whether torture is the means used to keep somebody quiet or to extract information. If you torture somebody long enough, they will confess to anything. Things they haven’t done, things they don’t believe in, etc. Anything the torturer wants so the pain stops. Sometimes there is a pain-pleasure association and a relationship forms between the torturer and the victim. It is under such circumstances that the person under torture is able to anticipate what the other person wants to hear, and will make the confession, adding wilder and wilder information to satisfy the sadistic needs of the torturer.

On the other hand, the body itself has a limit as to how much pain it can withstand before it shuts down the nervous system. This is common for instance in cases of death by flame, whether accidental or not. But to paint a clearer picture, think of the Inquisition burning heretics and witches at the stake. The point is that nothing last forever. There is only so much the body is able to endure before shutting down and dying.

Remember, those torturing somebody are just ‘following orders’. And when enough people follow orders instead of standing for what is right, genocides happen. Corruption happens. And oligarchies endure.

People tend to fear death. But death comes to us all sooner or later. Whether we want it or not. Some people die as soon as they are born and some live to long ripe ages. For the most part, and not counting assisted suicide, we get not saying on how do we wish to go. Death isn’t beautiful. It isn’t romantic. To Death itself, it does no matter who you were or how much money you had. The ferryman only needs one coin to take you across the river Stynx and into Hades.

Your sphincter will relax and more often than not the contents of your intestines and bladder will be released as soon as your body collapses. The lack of ATP flowing on your muscles will prevent them from being flexible and Rigor Mortis will set in. Sometimes paramedics have to break arms and legs in order to move a body. Sometimes others do that in other to get the deceased dressed for an open-casket funeral.

I know when it comes to exposing the echelons of government people might fear not so much for their own lives, but for those of their loved ones. They might even go as far as blaming themselves if something were to happen to relatives or friends. But the hard truth is this: you did not kill that person. You did not have that person killed. Somebody else did kill that person in order to silence you. It is fear all over again. If you stay silent, they will always get away with it. But if you speak up and something were to happen, you will be a true hero. And as such, one whose memory will linger longer than most people’s after their own deaths. Because people would look up to you, to your bravery and courage. They will keep your memory alive. You will be an example to follow when presented with the choice between what is right and what is easy.

The technological era has made it even easier nowadays to speak up and stand on the right side of history. Were a politician to go off script during a rally, confess to what is happening behind the curtains of governments and, at the same time proclaim the fear for his life and/or family members, then the Shadow People would be a lot more unlikely to act and carry out those threats. Why? Because if something were to happen to that person or their relatives, the information would spread like wildfire over the nets; probably even faster than the unscripted exposure of the true face of government. And if that were to happen, people would take to the streets by the thousands. They will storm and tear down the foundations of government. They will revolt in pro of truth and self-governance.

During war, they call the death of many thousand innocent civilians ‘collateral damages‘. So what is the death of one person if it means saving millions? Would you die for the truth? Would you die for your people? Would you die for your country?

Personally, and just like every other great revolutionary out there, I rather ‘die standing up than live on my knees’.


4 thoughts on “What is your life worth?

  1. Love this piece. I have something to share with you loosely related to Jung’s idea of collective consciousness. I guess i should dust off off and finish it finally, something i wrote tears ago after deep diving into DMT for a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

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